I am living a fabulous life!

There are days when I feel like I'm really failing as a parent. Days when my son has been screaming for six hours straight because his gums hurt and nothing consoles him and he ends up getting so worked up that he pukes all over both of us. He wants to be held so that he can look around, but he doesn't want me to sit. I have to stand because if I sit sown in the chair, he screams. He strains and kicks and wallers (that's an Okie term) around until every muscle in my body is also screaming at me. I rub his gums, he screams. I use Orajel, he screams. I don't rub his gums, he screams. I give him gas drops, he screams. I don't give him gas drops, he screams. I feed him, he screams  I don't feed him, he screams. You get the gist of it. 

He's not always that way, he wakes up like the sunshine every morning, babbling to himself, laughing, and eating his feet, and he's usually happy throughout the day. He plays with his hair while he drinks a bottle and makes faces when I feed him veggies. He plays in his jumperoo or activity seat, scoots around on his tummy as he learns how to crawl, and blows bubbles and jabbers all day long and we spend most of our time laughing at him. 

But, it's times like tonight, when I am frustrated and exhausted, that a nasty little voice bubbles it's way up from some deep, dark, secret place and finds it's way into my ear and says, "You are not a very good Mommy. You're child is screaming and hurting and you can't even figure out what's wrong. A good Mommy would know how to console her child when he's upset. AND what's worse, you're frustrated with him! A good mommy wouldn't feel that way." And it's all I can do to tell that voice to shut up. But, lucky for me, my son can scream loud enough to drown out any cognitive thoughts I may have. But, there is something unnerving about not being able to console your child while he's looking at you with a pitiful expression and he seems to be saying, "Why aren't you helping me?"

Thankfully, my husband is an excellent father, and when I am no longer firing on all eight cylinders and my eyes have glossed over and rolled back into my head, his care makes up for my shortcomings. He's there to tag team the tiny fighter and he taps himself into the ring for his turn. I know there are times that he's just as frustrated and exhausted as I am, and I suppose that's just part of parenting. I am very thankful that The Lord gave me a good man who's also a great husband and father. I don't think I could do it without him. 

And this brings me to my random thought of the day, which is something that came to me after a somewhat nasty encounter with a jealous individual. I do not lead a glamorous life. But, I lead a fabulous life because I choose to view it that way. I choose to not let days like today get me down (too much) and I choose to look at what I have to be thankful for instead of what I have to complain about. Does my son wear me out sometimes? Yes. But, I love him and I wouldn't trade him for anything. He is a blessing to us, no matter how much he cries. One minute of morning snuggles makes Mommy feel all better. We have good jobs that pay our bills, put food on our table, gas in our vehicles, clothes on our back, and a roof over our head. I have a man who loves me for me and I love him for him. I don't care about his flaws because I'm full of my own. We have been blessed in many ways, not just with "things", but the growth of our marriage, the deepening of love, the increased support we show each other and the joy we take in spending time with each other. We both work shift work and I work every weekend, and over the years we have had to sacrifice time with each other and our extended family for our jobs, but we make it work because we love each other. We rarely have time for just the two of us, but when we have that time, we make the most of it.

So, you can make the choice, you can view what you have as fabulous and enjoy your life, or you can be jealous of others and be ungrateful and rude and a general downer to those around you. The choice is yours. I am living a fabulous life! :)