Santa is an elf

I am pretty sure that all of the movies and TV shows depicting Santa Claus as an average sized human being have gotten it wrong. Have you ever paid attention to the words of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas?


Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.


The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap.




When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.





The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.


With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!


"Now Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"


As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.


And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.


He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.


His eyes-how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.
 


























The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!


 He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.


 He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!


 He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Note the letters highlighted, underlined, and in bold type:

Miniature sleigh
Tiny reindeerLittle old driver
Elf

So, here's the story ..... he's not an average sized human! You see the evidence just as I do. The story clearly states that he's an elf and refers to him as little. And not only that, but his reindeer are not the size of others in the deer family; they are referred to as tiny and he rides in a miniature sleigh! What more evidence do we need? No wonder he can slide up and down the chimney so easily; he's an elf and surely he would fit with ease. It's no wonder that I never saw Santa for all of these 36 years of my life, I was looking for a full sized man when I should have been looking for an elf! I have been deceived! Led astray! Fooled! Hoodwinked! Played! Scarred for life! I will be boycotting all of the media that portrays him and his reindeer as human-sized from here on out! Okay, not really, because I love Christmas movies! Home Alone, The Santa Clause, Miracle on 34th Street, Mickey's Christmas Carol, and all of the others!

But, for me, the true reason to celebrate Christmas is the birth of our savior, Jesus Christ.


Luke 2:1-20

New Living Translation (NLT)

 

The Birth of Jesus

2 At that time the Roman emperor, Augustus, decreed that a census should be taken throughout the Roman Empire. ² (This was the first census taken when Quirinius was governor of Syria.) ³ All returned to their own ancestral towns to register for this census. ⁴ And because Joseph was a descendant of King David, he had to go to Bethlehem in Judea, David’s ancient home. He traveled there from the village of Nazareth in Galilee. ⁵ He took with him Mary, his fiancée, who was now obviously pregnant.

⁶ And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born. ⁷ She gave birth to her first child, a son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them.

 

The Shepherds and Angels

⁸ That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. ⁹ Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, ¹⁰ but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. ¹¹ The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! ¹² And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.”

¹³ Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying,

¹⁴ “Glory to God in highest heaven,
    and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”

¹⁵ When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go to Bethlehem! Let’s see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

¹⁶ They hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the manger. ¹⁷ After seeing him, the shepherds told everyone what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child. ¹⁸ All who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished, ¹⁹ but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often. ²⁰ The shepherds went back to their flocks, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen. It was just as the angel had told them.

 

 

I hope all of you have a very merry Christmas and a wonderful new year! Celebrate with your family or friends and may we all carry the Christmas spirit with us throughout the year!

Why I'm a non smoker

As I drove to work this morning and it was colder than a witch's titty outside, I saw a man sitting outside of a local gas station having a little cigi. And it got me to thinking, here are 10 reasons why I've never smoked a cigarette - other than the fact that it tars up your lungs and exposes others to secondhand smoke:

1. It requires more dedication than I'm willing to give. Sitting outside when it's 20 degrees or 110 degrees is not my cup o' tea. 

2. It's too expensive. A man in front of me at the convenience store on Sunday morning spent almost $80 for two cartons. Seriously? I have better things to spend my money on, like chocolate. Or diapers. Or chocolate. 

3. It makes your breath stink and Scope and Listerine cannot mask the stench. 

4. It makes your skin stink. Yes, it does. 

5. It makes your clothes stink, no matter how much cologne or perfume you use.

6. It changes the look and feel of your skin. 

7. It increases the number of fine lines around your mouth. 

8. It yellows your walls if you smoke inside. 

9. It yellows your teeth. 

10. It makes your fingernails look nasty. 

So, basically what it boils down to is that I am just way too vain to smoke. Glad we all now know that about me. 

For the men

Colossians 3:19 

Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly. 

Proverbs 5:15-20

(15) Now, about sex and marriage: Drink only the water that comes from your own well, (16) and don’t let your water flow out into the streets. (17) Keep it for yourself, and don’t share it with strangers. (18) Be happy with your own wife. Enjoy the woman you married while you were young. (19) She is like a beautiful deer, a lovely fawn. Let her love satisfy you completely. Stay drunk on her love, (20) and don’t go stumbling into the arms of another woman.

I shared these verses yesterday on my personal FB page. What I found odd was that the only people who "liked" the status were women. Not one man. Not a single one. Do these verses not speak to the hearts of men? I certainly hope they do. The fact that they speak to women should be of important note to men. If these verses can be so intimately familiar to a woman's heart, shouldn't her man take notice?

A shout out

I was at Walmart early on Saturday morning and this is what was in front of the customer service counter. 

This is just a fraction of the carts that were there. These are not returns, these are items that people picked up and then left laying throughout the store. Grapes left in hardware. Deodorant next to the mac and cheese. Bug spray in housewares. 

What in the world???

Maybe this just grates on me because I worked at two grocery stores and a department store in high school and I spent hours facing shelves and organizing clothing racks. Or maybe it's because I find this to be rude, indecent human behavior. 

When I worked for the department store I would go into the dressing room to find piles of clothing and swimsuit bottom liners stuck to the wall. Gross beyond gross. Who does that? Sweaters hung up in the bras. Bras in with the jeans. Jeans left in the shoe department. Gum ..... everywhere. People returning clothes they had obviously worn. I once had to process a dress return and it wreaked of B.O. so bad that I almost gagged. And the woman returning it, who also wreaked of B.O., had the gall to claim she'd never worn it. I wanted to call her a liar in front of everyone.

Oddly enough, while I was tending to this stinky woman, a rude woman with two teen daughters started screaming at me from thirty feet away. "Clerk! Clerk! You! Do you hear me talking to you?! You better get over here and help me! Don't you keep me waiting!" Really? Can you not see that I am tending to another customer and I am the only person working this department? It reminded me of a child throwing a temper tantrum. I'd rather deal with a stinky customer over a rude one any day of the week. 

I have had plenty of negative experiences with people who work in retail or in customer service, but today I'm going to give a shout out to all of them! I know they spend their days tolerating the rude, inconsiderate, and sometimes disgusting behavior of others and how frustrating that can be. Shake it off, put a warm smile on your face, have a welcoming greeting for the next customer, and maintain a professional, helpful attitude. Your shift will be over soon and you can sit in your car and scream to let loose the tension of the day. It's a 40-hour week and here's your feel good song!

40 Hour Week - Alabama

http://youtu.be/Kuz8_PP3bqY

There are people in this country who work hard every day 
Not for fame or fortune do they strive 
But the fruits of their labor are worth more than their pay 
And it's time a few of them were recognized 

Hello Detroit auto worker, let me thank you for your time 
You work a forty hour week for a livin', just to send it on down the line 
Hello Pittsburgh steel mill worker, let me thank you for your time 
You work a forty hour week for a livin', just to send it on down the line 

This is for the one who swings the hammer, driving home the nail 
For the one behind the counter, ringing up the sales 
For the one who fights the fires, the one who brings the mail 
For everyone who works behind the scenes 

You can see them every morning in the factories and the fields 
In the city streets and the quiet country towns 
Working together like spokes inside a wheel 
They keep this country turning around 

Hello Kansas wheat field farmer, let me thank you for your time 
You work a forty hour week for a livin', just to send it on down the line 
Hello West Virginia coal miner, let me thank you for your time 
You work a forty hour week for a livin', just to send it on down the line 

This is for the one who drives the big rig, up and down the road 
For the one out in the warehouse, bringing in the load 
For the waitress, the mechanic, the policeman on patrol 
For everyone who works behind the scenes 

With a spirit you can't replace with no machine 
Hello America let me thank you for your time

Even the radio gets it wrong

I saw this on my Sirius/XM Radio the other day. 

Whoever is being paid to enter song titles and artists apparently needs a proofreader or a dictionary. For the spelling challenged, it should be "autumn". I'm telling you, these things just have a way of finding me!

And because I can't beat the grammatically correct dead horse enough, here you go:

Haha! I love it when people share these with me! It's so true and still so funny!

On another note, I am conflicted over whether to start the "Month of Thankfulness" this year. I could easily start today and play catch-up because today is only the 4th. But, I am thankful every day, not just during specific seasons or months or days of the week. And I don't like how some people have referred to it as a challenge. I don't think of thankfulness as a challenge, so I don't want to give the impression that I'm doing it just because I was challenged to. However, I also think that a person can define a situation depending on their point of view. So, if I think of it as an endeavor to bring something positive to the lives of others, then it's not really a challenge. Thoughts?

Also, the other day someone said that being thankful and being grateful were not the same thing. I have never heard that before so I looked it up at www.thefreedictionary.com. The words have almost the exact same definition and are synonyms. 

Thankful - adj - 1. Aware and appreciative of a benefit; grateful. 2. Expressive of gratitude: a thankful smile. 

Grateful - adj - 1. Appreciative of benefits received; thankful. 2. Expressing gratitude. 3. Affording pleasure or comfort; agreeable. 

I checked other sites (just to be sure) and they also showed these two words to have similar definitions and to be synonyms. I wish I could remember who said it because I want to ask them what they meant. I feel like I'm missing something. These are the questions that keep me up at night!

A few more for the Grammar Snobs

Because it's Friday (which is actually my Sunday, hello shift work!) I thought I'd share a few grammar funnies that have been shared with me.

And since it's the day after Halloween and I can only dress my son this way once and get away with it, here's the embarrassing picture we will show when he graduates from high school. 

And just for fun, one of me. 

It's November 1st and while I'm glad the Halloween candy fest is over, I have two more months of temptation! I'm trying to keep my eye on the ball, but that's hard to do when candy and fattening comfort foods are calling your name. And butter. And bacon. If there was a way to combine the two and just eat them 24/7, I would. And I would also weigh a bazillion pounds. I have my mind on food today. 

Banana nut bread. 

Cookies. 

Cake balls. 

Baked beans. 

Potatoes of any kind, except potato salad. Blech!

Casseroles. 

Pies. 

Is anyone else hungry?

Walking in love

I have had a somewhat trying week and "The Love Walk" has really been on my mind and in my heart more than it usually is. Do we really know what it means to walk in love? Is it possible to always walk in love? Do we desire to walk in love? Can we have a disagreement and continue to walk in love?

I think that, for many of us, walking in love is a concept that we think we understand, but the reality is that we often times allow our human side, our flesh, to prevent us from executing that walk. I think there are many facets to walking in love and probably the most common one we hear is to turn the other cheek. And it's such a hard thing to do! Especially when someone has hurt you, wounded you, or zinged you. We want to immediately retaliate with our own barrage of verbal garbage to make them hurt in the same way we do. Misery loves company, right?

I was listening to Focus on the Family this morning and Anne Graham Lotz shared a story of how she once had a small dog that was accidentally run over by a car. When she ran to the poor animal, the first thing he did was bite her. She scooped him up and took him to the vet and she later asked her mother, "Why did he bite me?" Her mother told her that it doesn't matter whether it's a four-legged or two-legged animal, the first thing one wants to do when they're in pain is to lash out. And I think it's important to recognize that because Anne loved the animal, she overlooked the bite and did what was right, anyway. How awesome would this world be if more people applied that to their dealings with other humans?

So, how do we turn the other cheek and walk in love? Is it possible to calmly say, "You have hurt me by doing/saying _____," and not lash out at that person? Of course it is, but it takes a conscious effort and it requires the courage to face the person who hurt you, knowing that you've probably hurt them, too, and you will have to deal with that, as well. You have to deny your flesh the desire to lash out, call names, or make threats and snide comments. You have to control your words, your actions, and your tone of voice. You have to remember that lashing out is just a way of getting even, it won't solve the problem, and will more than likely make the situation worse. You have to be willing to listen without trying to talk over the other person or get the last word in. That's what children do and isn't the point of growing to get past all of that adolescent behavior? Be willing to hear and consider the other side of the story. Be willing to consider that you might be (gasp!) wrong and you might be (bigger gasp!) the one causing the problem. Perhaps, before we speak, we should ask ourselves, "Will my words help or hurt the situation or will they just make my flesh feel better?"

If I'm turning the other cheek, maybe my best course of action is to not speak or respond at all. Why risk an emotional reaction that you can't retract? Your flesh might tell you, "It has to be said," but, does it really? And if it does need to be said, is it walking in love to have a hateful, overbearing, accusatory, exasperated, snippy, holier-than-thou tone of voice or attitude? Another story that Anne Graham Lotz told today was that of Jesus, being falsely accused and not defending himself and not lashing out at his accusers. 

1 Peter 2:23 

He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly.

"But, that was Jesus!" you say. If you're a Christian, don't you desire to have the heart of Jesus? Don't you desire to be more Christ-like? So, don't you at least want to try to walk in love as He did?

I try to work on all of these things in my own life and some days I have more practice subjects than others. Haha! I fall short of the glory of God every day. But, I get back up and try again, confessing and seeking forgiveness and, as I've said before, I have much room to grow. I think we could all use less bitterness, more forgiveness, less self-righteousness, more tolerance, less hate, and more love in our lives. And like everything else, walking in love is a choice we each have to make. 

You can listen to Focus on the Family's program online at www.focusonthefamily.com. 

My prayer for the day

Sometimes I think The Lord places people in our lives who are the mirror image of the person we used to be, the person we aren't proud of, the person we desire to be rid of, that person that we no longer want to be. And I think he allows us to be in situations like this to humble us, to see what it is that others had to deal with, to see how far we've come and still have to go, to help us grow in character and in our walk with Him, and to allow us to now be a blessing to that person.

If you are a person with any kind of self awareness, you are probably a person who wants to grow in character, whether you're a Christian or not. I think most of us desire to be a better person. There was a time when our petty, selfish behavior could be chalked up to being young and dumb and people would allow you some growing room because they realized that you were, in fact, still growing. However, there comes a time when the young and dumb excuse has to be thrown out the window and we all have to be held accountable for our actions and words. 

I have said many times that I'm not proud of the person I used to be. I was abused by my mother's ex-husband, my heart had been hardened and I used that as an excuse to not forgive others, to lash out or be boastful and prideful and I definitely did not have a filter on my mouth. I was brash and bitter and many times I was just downright rude. I hurt others and I did things that I knew were morally wrong. My poor choices and lack of a relationship with God, even though I had been saved, finally led me to a place where I had to ask myself, "How did I get here?" And when it came right down to it, I was the one who led me to that point in life. I was the one who wasn't walking with God, not the other way around. 

And now, there are people in my life who behave as I did. AND IT DRIVES ME NUTS! It is a true test of my patience and my faith to deal with the lies, the false accusations, the drama, the stress, and the heartache that these people cause me. And because I am an immature Christian, meaning that I have much room to grow, all I can do is pray for these people because I feel like talking to them is like beating my head against a wall. I want to do more, but I realize that they aren't ready to hear or accept that. We each have a testimony so we can help others who are walking the same walk. However, when a person is too blind or prideful or whatever to recognize what is holding them back and they have no desire to change, there is little else to do other than to pray for them and to pray for yourself in your dealings with them.

Lord, I come to you now to pray for individuals with a hardened heart, whether they realize they have one or not and I pray that You use my actions and words in an appropriate way that would glorify You and bless others, keep me humble and compassionate, let Your light shine out of my fingers and toes, each strand of hair, and the words of my mouth. I lift these people up to You, for You to bless their lives, and I pray that their hearts be open to receive the blessings and corrections of You. I pray that they have a desire to know You, our Mighty God. I pray that Your grace, mercy, and forgiveness be extended to each of us and that we extend it to others. In Your most holy name, Amen. 

I am living a fabulous life!

There are days when I feel like I'm really failing as a parent. Days when my son has been screaming for six hours straight because his gums hurt and nothing consoles him and he ends up getting so worked up that he pukes all over both of us. He wants to be held so that he can look around, but he doesn't want me to sit. I have to stand because if I sit sown in the chair, he screams. He strains and kicks and wallers (that's an Okie term) around until every muscle in my body is also screaming at me. I rub his gums, he screams. I use Orajel, he screams. I don't rub his gums, he screams. I give him gas drops, he screams. I don't give him gas drops, he screams. I feed him, he screams  I don't feed him, he screams. You get the gist of it. 

He's not always that way, he wakes up like the sunshine every morning, babbling to himself, laughing, and eating his feet, and he's usually happy throughout the day. He plays with his hair while he drinks a bottle and makes faces when I feed him veggies. He plays in his jumperoo or activity seat, scoots around on his tummy as he learns how to crawl, and blows bubbles and jabbers all day long and we spend most of our time laughing at him. 

But, it's times like tonight, when I am frustrated and exhausted, that a nasty little voice bubbles it's way up from some deep, dark, secret place and finds it's way into my ear and says, "You are not a very good Mommy. You're child is screaming and hurting and you can't even figure out what's wrong. A good Mommy would know how to console her child when he's upset. AND what's worse, you're frustrated with him! A good mommy wouldn't feel that way." And it's all I can do to tell that voice to shut up. But, lucky for me, my son can scream loud enough to drown out any cognitive thoughts I may have. But, there is something unnerving about not being able to console your child while he's looking at you with a pitiful expression and he seems to be saying, "Why aren't you helping me?"

Thankfully, my husband is an excellent father, and when I am no longer firing on all eight cylinders and my eyes have glossed over and rolled back into my head, his care makes up for my shortcomings. He's there to tag team the tiny fighter and he taps himself into the ring for his turn. I know there are times that he's just as frustrated and exhausted as I am, and I suppose that's just part of parenting. I am very thankful that The Lord gave me a good man who's also a great husband and father. I don't think I could do it without him. 

And this brings me to my random thought of the day, which is something that came to me after a somewhat nasty encounter with a jealous individual. I do not lead a glamorous life. But, I lead a fabulous life because I choose to view it that way. I choose to not let days like today get me down (too much) and I choose to look at what I have to be thankful for instead of what I have to complain about. Does my son wear me out sometimes? Yes. But, I love him and I wouldn't trade him for anything. He is a blessing to us, no matter how much he cries. One minute of morning snuggles makes Mommy feel all better. We have good jobs that pay our bills, put food on our table, gas in our vehicles, clothes on our back, and a roof over our head. I have a man who loves me for me and I love him for him. I don't care about his flaws because I'm full of my own. We have been blessed in many ways, not just with "things", but the growth of our marriage, the deepening of love, the increased support we show each other and the joy we take in spending time with each other. We both work shift work and I work every weekend, and over the years we have had to sacrifice time with each other and our extended family for our jobs, but we make it work because we love each other. We rarely have time for just the two of us, but when we have that time, we make the most of it.

So, you can make the choice, you can view what you have as fabulous and enjoy your life, or you can be jealous of others and be ungrateful and rude and a general downer to those around you. The choice is yours. I am living a fabulous life! :)

What is wrong with people?

It was made perfectly clear to me yesterday that there is a HUGE difference in how people treat you when you make a mistake and you have a baby with you. And I'm not talking about the way people treat you when you have a screaming 5 year old laying in the middle of the aisle, throwing a huge hissy fit for the world to see. My niece had a meltdown in Walgreens a couple of years ago and we had to leave the store without buying anything. We returned the next day and, lucky me, the same lady was working and she said, "Going to try it again?" Our second attempt at shopping went much better. 

Normally, I take Rocco everywhere with me, so he's had lots of trips to Walmart. When I'm shopping I always try to be courteous of other shoppers, but occasionally I will step out in front of someone because my attention was on him. Most people are gracious as I apologize and smile at me and say, "It's okay." One day he had an unbelievably horrible projectile puke in the pillow aisle and the lady behind me smiled and said, "Oh, poor Mommy. I remember those days."

Well (pretend I have my hands on my hips and say that in an exasperated tone), yesterday, it was a totally different story. I left Rocco with Papa so I could make a quick trip for a couple of things so I could cook dinner at Mom's. I was on the phone with D and I was looking for the bean aisle and I stopped just after I had turned down the wrong aisle. I took two steps back and bumped into someone. No, I did not turn around to see if there was someone behind me, that was my mistake. I immediately turned around and said, "I am so sorry." I was so embarrassed that I said it twice. This woman looked at me like I had horns growing out of my head and toted a pitchfork. She made it perfectly clear how offended she was that I had accidentally bumped into her. I tried to get out of her way as quickly as possible, but I had a cart with a gimp wheel and that irritated her, too. 

Last Friday I was checking out at Walmart and Rocco was kind of over the whole riding around in his car seat thing, so I had been carrying him. I had finished paying at the register and the cashier was helping me get the bags into my cart when the woman behind me rammed me with her cart. Literally, she intentionally and purposefully rammed my backside with her cart. While I'm holding my 5 month old son and loading bags into my cart! In the words of Sebastian Maniscalco, "What is wrong with people?" I wanted to whip out a little white trash attitude and call her every vile thing I could think of that would adequately describe her behavior and certain physical attributes and ram my fist down her throat and my foot up her rear, but I bit my tongue and held my temper. Seriously, what is wrong with people? When did we become so intolerant of others that we can't gracefully excuse an innocent mistake or allow them to load their groceries? Ugh. 

I have a date with my dude tonight, so rant over. It's Friday night in the big town! 

Grammar snob

I have a confession to make; I am bit of a grammar snob.  Yes, I will secretly and silently judge every word you write and mentally take a red ink pen to your words, marking corrections all over your imaginary paper.  And apparently, I'm not the only one.  Whew!  Thank goodness, because I was afraid I was on an island here.  Yesterday, I made mention on my personal Facebook page of a common grammatical error I see too often and my friends began to let loose with their own grammatical pet peeves.

It's not that I am smarter than anyone else or that my grammar is leaps and bounds above others, because it isn't and I am certainly not an English language expert, but grammatical errors stick out at me like a sore thumb, they always have.  Even my own mistakes irritate me to no end and I will feel an overwhelming compulsion to go back and correct them.  I just can't let it go.  And when my phone autocorrects my words and substitutes the wrong word and I don't catch it, I almost lose my OCD mind.  I know many lovely, wonderful people who have bad grammar and no, I don't go around correcting them, just like they don't tell me that I have a hideous laugh, an Okie accent, and big teeth.  We even each other out.

So, for today's public service announcement, here are a few of the verbal pooh-poohs that top the list:

"I have _____ for sell."  No you have _____ for sale.  You sell an item, you don't sale it.  You aren't saleing (that's not even a word) something, you're selling it.

"I have an ideal, let's go shopping!"  No, you have an idea, not the same thing.

"I was born death in my left ear."  No, you were born deaf in your left ear.

Dis, dat, da - these are not proper substitutions for this, that and the.

"All I like are a few more pages."  No, all you lack are a few more pages.

"I done that."  No, you did that or you have done that.

"I got my hair did."  No, you had your hair done/fixed/cut/permed/colored/etc. and I'm not 100% sure that saying, "I had my hair done," is grammatically correct. ???  Something about the phrase just doesn't sound proper.  I only use the "hair did" line in a completely facetious and joking manner, and yes, I've used it in this blog.

"I seen this movie."  No, you saw that movie or you have seen it.

You're and your - not the same thing.

They're, there and their - again, not the same thing.

An and And - not the same thing.  Using the letter N as a substitution is also a no-no.

Our and are - not the same thing.  Using the letter R as a substitution is only acceptable if you're spelling names like Babies 'R' Us or Toys 'R' Us.

To and too - not the same thing.

And yes, I realize that I do things like starting sentences with the words so, and, or, and but, sometimes I make up my own words, I probably say the word "like" too much and I'm in love with commas and run-on sentences.  But, let's not talk about me, let's talk about everyone else.  If everyone could just play along like nice little boys and girls and start using the correct terminology, in the correct tense and context, my OCD will quiet down and I won't have to make embarrassing confessions to strangers via the internet.

And if all of that offends you, you really need to lighten up.  This is, after all, just a silly little blog written by a woman who's brain is stained with baby poop.  :)

I have a FB page!

I have created a Facebook page for my blog. You can find it at www.facebook.com/thisoklahomagirlslife or if you search Facebook for "this Oklahoma girl's life" you will be able to find it. So, get on over there and "like" my page! Thank you!

Bullies

I get daily emails from The Pioneer Woman blog and on Saturday, the blog was a question about bullies, posted for PW by Heather Sanders.  Here's the blog post:


Need Advice. My Son is Dealing with Bullies.
Posted: 27 Apr 2013 03:00 AM PDT


Community Question is a category inspired by you. Here and there readers write in with questions that are better served by the varied, experiential knowledge of those who read and contribute in the comments. Please respond to this post in the comments, but if you have a question for the community email it to Heather.

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The following question is from Jenny M.

“I homeschooled my now 17 year old son until he was a Sophomore in high school. At that time, my three kids were put in public school. This year, my youngest went to Kindergarten in public school. Because of poor choices, one of our daughters has been brought back home to homeschool. I loved homeschooling and greatly missed it.

Our six-year-old has been through a lot this past month. First, his teacher, who he loved, quit her job to stay home with a newly adopted daughter. He’s had a hard time with this – not so much in what he says, but he’s just down about it. Last week, when I picked him up from school, I could tell something was wrong. After talking to him for a bit, he told me that a boy in his class pushed him and held him against a wall at recess. This continued, I guess, for most of recess. I told him that he needed to tell the boy to stop in a loud voice. If that didn’t work, then he needed to tell a teacher. I wrote the teacher that evening, and she wrote back and said she had addressed the problem.

The next day, the same boy pushed my son again. He told a teacher, and the boy had his recess taken away. Today I picked my son up and found out that while waiting to be picked up, a different boy came up to my son and punched him in the chest!!!! I told him that he needed to LOUDLY tell these boys to leave him alone.

I’m not sure what to do from here. The irritating thing is seeing how a young child’s innocence can be taken away by these things. Maybe these three incidents won’t do anything, but if this continues, it can have a big impact on his life. Now more than ever I want to bring him home and school him as I felt I should do in the beginning.”

Jenny wants me to ask “What are the community’s thoughts on this?” and say that “Any advice is very welcome.”

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Like Jenny M., I am concerned about how to handle bullying.  Even though my child isn't born yet, this subject is of great concern to me.  I can't stand bullies.  I hate bullies.  I loathe bullies.  Part of me just wants to spank their butts and give them a little dose of their own medicine and then give their parents a piece of my mind.  But, I'm more interested in why a person (child or adult) bullies; getting to the root of the fruit, so to speak, and dealing with the problem from its origination.  For today, my question is what would you do?  How do you deal with bullies if your child is the victim?  What if your child is a witness only?  What if your child is the bully?  What if you've addressed it and the situation hasn't improved?  What if the teacher/school won't listen or refuses to intercede?  What if their intercession has made the situation worse or is ineffective?  What if the bully isn't disciplined at school, even when his/her behavior violates school policy?  What if your child was disciplined for defening him/herself but the bully wasn't disciplined at all?  What if you've talked to the other child's parents and they blew you off, refused to listen or believe what you said?  What if the parents saw nothing wrong with their child's behavior?  At what point did you or would you step in?  At the first sign of bullying, when your child follows your advice and the bullying continues or gets worse, or when you first notice a change in your child's behavior as a reaction to bullying?  What methods have you used that didn't work?

All input is appreciated.

Trophies

I'm going to preface this post with this warning:  I'm probably going to offend someone.  And if that happens, it is not my intent, but I realize that it is an inevitable side effect.  Don't take what I say personally; I'm not attacking anyone as an individual or being malicious, this is just my opinion.  You don't have to agree, but if you comment, please be civil - no name calling or insult throwing.  Thank you.

This morning, while I was laying in bed and trying to convince myself that staying in bed all day long was an acceptable way to spend my day I suddenly began thinking about trophies.  I'm not really sure why, it's not something that I normally think about.  But, I was contemplating how trophies are handed out to kids and adults alike for simply participating in a competitive event - which is something that I find to be fundamentally wrong.  A trophy is for the person, group or team that wins.  It's for the person or persons who worked the hardest, wanted it the most, and performed the best.  It's not for those who lost or gave a half-hearted effort, didn't attend meetings or practices, and knew that they didn't have to give 100% because they would still get an award in the end.

When I was a little girl, if we were not on the winning team, we didn't get a trophy or medal, we got a piece of paper or a ribbon showing that we participated.  Whoopee.  I hated that piece of paper and the participant ribbon; it meant that someone beat me and I didn't like that.  There were some events that I knew I would never win, like the 50 yard dash, but I still gave it my all and I NEVER expected a trophy or medal for coming in 6th or 7th.  But, in strength events I always expected to be in the top three and when I wasn't, I learned how to deal with loss.  There were a few other girls that I knew were as strong or stronger than I was and we would generally round out the top 5, with three of us getting a medal.  Again, if you were in 4th place or lower you didn't get a medal and you learned how to deal with loss.  Even in intramural sports I wanted to be on a team with girls that I knew would help our team win and if I were on a team with girls who didn't know how to play the game and didn't care to learn, I would be mad because I knew that I was going to have to make up for their lack of desire.  I was going to have to work harder to overcome the obstacles between me and at least the top three.  I did not want to be in last place or even next to last place.  I'm not big into trash talk, I'm more of a let your work speak for itself kind of gal.  But, I always wanted to win.  It didn't always happen, but it was always what I wanted.  Last year at a kids basketball game I overheard the coach ask one young lady if she was giving it her all and she flat out said, "No."  She didn't make any bones about it, she just flat out wasn't giving her best effort and she wasn't going to give anymore than she already was.  That may be fine in events where you're just learning and it really isn't about the win or lose, but this was a competitve game.  I repeat, this was a COMPETITIVE game.  Comptete, that means you're challenging the other team to see who's top dog.  If you're not going to give your best effort to help your team win, then keep yourself on the bench, be a cheerleader or sit in the stands.  Having just one person on a team who doesn't give 100% can suck the life out of the rest of the team.

I think that it's important to teach children that they won't always win and they're not going to receive an award for losing.  Is losing fun?  No, and that's the point.  Is it hard to see your child lose?  Yes, but that is a fact of life.  I'm not looking forward to the day that I see my little man suffer because he lost at something he really wanted, but I do feel prepared for how to teach him to deal with it.  Life is full of personal wins and losses and if you've never been taught how to deal with loss as a child, then you're probably not going to know how to deal with it as an adult.  And trust me, I've seen a lot of grown men and women have tantrums and break-downs and boo-hoo sessions because they weren't recognized for losing and they just couldn't understand why they didn't get an award for their efforts.  Yes, A for effort, but it doesn't entitle you to an award.  A hand shake and a thank you are more appropriate.  I'm all for recognizing when someone does a good job, but if someone does a better job, then guess what?  You came in second.  You want that salesman of the year award?  Hone your skills, put in the hours and work for it.  If it continues to be unattainable, maybe you aren't a salesman and you need a change in career?  Recognize where your strengths are and refine them; make them shine so bright that your weaknesses look smaller and smaller.  Some people are not destined to be in management because while they are awesome at their current job, being a manager is not something they would excel at.  Or maybe they were passed over for promotion.  If that is your limit, recognize it and be the best you can be at your current job and improve your skills for the promotion you want and if that's not enough then consider changing jobs.  I want to run a marathon, but I know that I'm not going to win; it's something I want to do as a personal goal.  I do not expect a medal for my effort.  Yes, it would be a personal achievement and you know what?  I get to enjoy the satisfaction that I achieved my personal goal of completing a marathon.  I don't need a medal or ribbon or certificate of participation telling me "Yea for you!" 

I'm not saying we shouldn't encourage children to be a part of a team, but when did it become such a bad thing to foster a little bit of a competitive spirit?  When did losing become "okay" and striving to be the winner become "bad"?  I do not understand this philosophy. 

After we got up we were watching The Dan Patrick Show and oddly enough they were also talking about trophies.  (Great minds think alike? haha)  Dan commented that he doesn't agree with everyone getting a trophy because it devalues the trophy.  Amen, I couldn't agree more.  And that just about sums it up.