We were burgled!

A few nights ago while D was digging some hamburger meat out of the freezer he discovered a loaf of Italian french bread that the plastic wrapper had somehow been torn off of. It was partially freezer burnt, there went $4 down the drain, so we set it out to soften up for a day or two so we could throw it out for the critters to eat.

Two nights later we went to Click's for dinner - the loaf was still sitting on the bar. Don't ask me why. I'm not entirely sure how it sat there for two days. I'm going to guess that it's because it was cold and rainy for two days and neither of us felt like going out in the rain to throw it out. When we got home this is what we discovered:

The wrapper was on the floor, as was a magazine that had been on the bar and the only thing left on the bar was the paper towel the loaf had been sitting on. We had been burgled!! And the suspects were still in the house! Both of them cowering and shaking and pointing their paw at the other.

"It wasn't me!" Marilyn declared.

Diamond didn't utter a word. She's been through this before and she's well aware of her right to remain silent.

There were bread crumbs strung across a ten foot area of the carpet (I know it's hard to see in the pic) and when I pointed it out to D he asked the girls, "Is this where the murder occurred?" Neither was willing to fess up. Diamond tried to melt into the floor, believing that the flatter she got, the smaller she would become and then we wouldn't be able to see her and Marilyn hid behind my legs.

Honestly, I'm surprised the loaf of bread lasted two days before they got to it. When they were about a year old D had made himself some pizza for lunch one day and halfway through his meal he realized that the girls were nowhere to be found. And puppies are like small children, if you don't see or hear them, they're into something. He walked to the kitchen and there he saw Diamond with her front feet on the counter and Marilyn sitting on the floor, so excited that she couldn't control herself and her butt and nub tail were wiggling violently. Diamond picked up a piece of pizza and dropped it to the floor for Marilyn and then took the rest of the pizza for herself. Needless to say, D was laughing too hard to discipline them and was glad that Diamond had shared, so he just went back and finished his own piece of pizza.

I wasn't quite so nice when I caught her. I was deboning a rotisserie chicken from Walmart and I had a sudden emergency that led me to the bathroom. I had to leave the chicken right where it was - this was an EMERGENCY. A minute or so later Marilyn came running into the bathroom and she was terribly worked up about something. She was crying and whining and she would run up to me then run back out to the bedroom and I could see that she was looking at something in the kitchen. Finally, I caught on that she was being a tattle tail and I tried to hurry. When I came out of the bathroom, there was Diamond, with her front feet on the counter and her nose buried in the chicken, half of it already eaten! I did not laugh. As a matter of fact, there was quite a bit of yelling and swearing and foot stomping and discipline was issued. That was our dinner! Marilyn rested secure in the knowledge that she hadn't partaken in the thievery and wasn't in trouble and walked around wiggling her butt while Diamond was in a serious time out. It's like a normal time out, except Mom keeps yelling while you're in time out because she doesn't feel like you've fully grasped the terribleness of your heinous crime. However, with this bread incident, I laughed and I laughed for a l-o-n-g time. Their bellies were so full of bread that they were in food nirvana and spent the rest of the night like this:

And they must have had a super fun evening because the blinds on the back door were messed up; I assume because both girls lost their mind when they saw Kitty Kitty eating his dinner.

Today's lesson: don't leave food out where a very large German Shepherd can get to it and share it with a short, blonde wiggly-butted Cocker Spaniel. You'd think after 10 years I wouldn't need to remind myself of this. I'm a slow learner. :)