Sorry to see you
It's been a long time
In fact, it's never,
that we've ever met before
How'm I feeling?
Well, not so great
You creep up
Late in the day
And leave a bad taste
In my mouth all night long
What's that heartburn?
You want to stay?
Well, I'm afraid
I'll have to say
No, thank you
Now please be on your way
Goodbye, heartburn
I've found relief
With some tums
And tagamet
I bought at Walgreens
Generics work just fine
What I'm trying to say
Is I hate you
And I loathe you
Goodbye, heartburn
I'm getting rid of you
Okay, pretend you're Conway Twitty and give that a little "Hello, Darlin" tune.
I have never, ever, ever, ever in my life had heartburn or acid reflux. But, about a month ago something started happening. I first noticed it in the afternoons and it kind of felt like I had something gross stuck in the back of my throat, almost like a little bit of food was coming up. You can thank me for the visual later. Having never experienced heartburn before, at first I refused to acknowledge that that's what was going on. Then, I refused to buy any kind of antacid, determined that I would beat it down with my strong will.
I gave up last week.
These are my new friends.
D told me that the Tums would taste like chalk and recommended a pill. However, I wasn't sure how quickly the pill would send relief, so I bought the Tums, anyway. Assorted fruit flavors, I figured it can't be that bad and with that nasty bile taste in the back of my throat, I didn't really care if they tasted like chalk or not as long as they worked. And they did. Winning!
I had Cheerios for breakfast and I think it's time for a Tums. So, please excuse me. I'll return later.
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