The gift of massage

In the spirit of "you have not because you ask not," I would like to ask for the gift of two massages per week (and a sitter to watch my son while I'm there) for the rest of my life.

I love getting a massage. It never ceases to amaze me at how sore my body actually is. I walk around not noticing it too much until someone pierces the side of my thigh with their thumb and I feel like flying off the table. About 10 years ago I was diagnosed with a muscular condition for which I have forgotten the name. Myofacial something or other. Basically, my muscles retain tension at a higher intensity and for a longer period of time than what is considered normal. And this could be tension from work or life related stress or from physical exercise. And I have degenerative disc disease. So, when I say that I'm hurting, I really do mean it. A lifetime of free massages would be a great gift. Hint, hint if Richie Rich is reading this!

A couple of months ago I got a gift certificate for a massage and I finally got to use it today. The last massage I had was when I was pregnant and I've begun to have pregnancy sympathy pains; having the same piercing pain in my hips that I had when I was pregnant. Today's massage was the most blissful and most painful experience! I was sore all over, but when she made it to my hips and thighs, holy crap, Batman! It felt so good and hurt so bad that I wanted to cry, scream, and sing Hallelujah all at the same time. It felt like she was rolling pebbles up and down the back and sides of my thighs. Spiky, piranha teeth pebbles. Covered in fire. It was like being in a moving vise. I hated it and it felt awesome. I hated it so much I want to go back tomorrow. 

So, someone please send me a lifetime of gift massages so I can go enjoy being tortured some more.