Conversations

After picking Rocco up from our Life Group childcare on Sunday, we weren't even out of the parking lot when he said, "I want to watch Thomas (the train) on you phone." I feel the need to clarify here that this threenager is not allowed to watch Thomas on our phones all the time. He asks - ALL THE TIME - but he is routinely told no, especially if his attitude has been threenagerish. On those occasions when he's been told that his attitude needs adjusting he will say, "I sowwy I was angwy, Mama. Can I watch Thomas on you phone now? I behaving now. I'm a happy boy," and then he smiles. He's mastered the manipulation maneuver. Still, it's the first thing he asks as soon as we get in the car. And it's not the cartoons he wants to watch. Nope, he likes to watch videos of random people showing their Thomas toys and tracks. It's in French, Chinese, or Spanish? He doesn't care. He just wants to watch people playing with their Thomas and Friends toys. I told him no and that I wanted him to tell me what he did at church that evening.

"Den I can watch Thomas on you phone?"

"Maybe. We'll talk about it. Now, tell me what you did tonight. Did you have fun? Did you play with other kids?"

He answered about four questions and then declared, "Okay, we done talking now. I need to watch Thomas on you phone now."

I'm not sure where he gets the bossiness from. I blame his father. 

A couple of days later, Nana K was taking Rocco to Chick-fil-A for lunch after school and she had turned down the wrong street. When she got to the light she told him that she didn't see the restaurant. "It's over dere. You need to turn wight and go dat way and take me to Chip-fehway, Nana K." He routinely likes to tell us where to go and how to get there. Honestly, though, he's good with directions after we've been somewhere once. He knows street names and landmarks and likes to draw maps. It's probably because he heard me giving out directions at work while he was still cooking in my belly. At least I know he'll never get lost. 

Later in the week, during his bath, he was drawing a map in the condensation on the wall, talking to himself, when suddenly he exclaimed, "Dat's da way to da White House (his preschool)! And da door is wocked! And I can't get in! It's cwosed today! And dat's not good! Miss Twaci wocked me out wiss da bwue key! And dat's not good!"

Imagine saying all of that in your sharpest tone of voice. Now stand rigidly, and for emphasis, squeeze your eyes shut tightly, throw your hands down, and jerk your legs straight at the end of each sentence. And when you're finished, give out one last long, low growl, just so we all know how disgusted you really are about your imaginary experience of being locked out of school. 

Last night we stopped at GNC and Rocco and Daddy waited for me in the car. After I got out Rocco said, "Daddy, we need to go to Atwoods."

"We have to wait on Mama first."

"No, we weave her here and we go by ourselves."

.........................hmm

One last conversational nugget came from the boy's father, aka my dude. We were coming home from dinner, having a nice drive through the country, windows down, the sweet smell that IS the country blowing in through the windows (sorry if you're not familiar with the smell, it sucks to be you), 80's country on the radio - you know, just having a nice peaceful ride while the boy watched Thomas on my phone in the back seat. We got on the highway and we were singing some old song when he blurted out, "You bought that sandpaper toilet paper again."

I won't tell you what his next sentence was, but just know that I laughed and laughed and laughed. I'll be honest, it is like sandpaper. I had forgotten that this particular jumbo roll package is somehow different than the double roll package by the same brand. Ouchy. Scratchy. Not what you want in your TP. He told me to burn the rest of the package. If you've ever read any old posts from my blog, this conversation shouldn't surprise you; toilet paper is probably a topic of conversation in our house every day. AND, AND, AND it should always roll off the top, not the bottom. Learn this, people. 

In other news, it's Friday and my husband's 25 year high school reunion is tonight. I've been awake since 4:30 am. Yay, me! The laundry has piled up again, I have homework to finish, and fall has officially begun - never mind that it was 90-some-odd degrees yesterday. But, a cold front is coming and bringing rain with it. Right now though, I think I need a nap.