Babies to the rescue!

This is my baby, Marilyn Monroe. Yes, that's her real name, but her nickname is Squirt. She's our little blonde bombshell and she definitely has the diva attitude down pat. If you come to our house, she will snub you. She's really not very social, but she's round and snuggly and a beauty queen. Yes, I really called my dog a beauty queen. She even won a tiara; the stones are arranged in the shape of a bone! The day she won the Cutest Pet Contest hosted by the local newspaper she was only about 3 months old and she was fat and oh so cute! I just love fat little puppies. I think she was bigger around than she was tall, but she was (and still is) beautiful. I was such a proud Mama. However, when I tried to put the tiara on her she squirmed and hissed and cussed out loud at me. It was real ugly. So, she was done with beauty pageants.

This is our big girl, Diamond. Hey, if you have Marilyn Monroe in the house, you've got to have her best friend, Diamond, there too. They are best, best friends and you cannot separate them. If you do, it's a non-stop cry fest. She is built like a supermodel;  tall, slender, athletic, beautiful and graceful. She has my heart. When I look into her eyes, I still see that little puppy with the floppy ears and huge feet. She uses her paws like hands and, unlike Marilyn, she'll sleep anywhere. Marilyn requires a soft bed (I told you she was a diva), but Diamond is so laid back that she's been known to use a food bowl as a pillow! She makes me feel safe and last night, she did her job as Mama's protector!

We had an intruder last night. I'm sure this same guy has been to your house. He disguises himself as Daddy but he's really there to dish out a tickle thrashing on unsuspecting victims. I always have that fear of being tickled too much and then wetting my pants. Oh ladies, don't judge, I know ALL OF YOU know exactly what I'm talking about - especially if you've had kids. After a few firm kicks to defend myself, I warned him that I was being nice and hadn't kicked him hard, but I was about to. A warning that went unheeded. Tsk, tsk. I was getting the upper hand on him (if you ask him he'll refute that) and then I started laughing and when you're laughing during a wrestling match, you're going to lose. Your muscles just don't work right. You try to brace yourself and resist and push and punch and kick and bite, but they're all futile attempts. Miss Diamond did not know what to think so she started growling and barking at him. She opened her mouth and I could see that she was thinking about biting him, but she knows it's a no-no and then she got confused. "Do I save Mama or do I let Daddy go? Mama is screaming, that must mean I should bite him. But, Daddy wouldn't hurt Mama. What to do, oh what to do?!" Then Marilyn decided to get in on the action and she even gave a little "woof". Marilyn never "woofs", unless she's chasing armadillos or rabbits in the front yard (which is hysterical, by the way) or alerting to stranger-danger at the door. With help from the babies, Daddy had to relent and let go. It was a beat down by an all female army! His arm was mangled and torn and a bloody mess from the attack. Okay, okay, not really. But, I was so happy that Diamond came to my rescue when she thought I was in trouble - that's exactly why we have her! She got some extra lovins from me!! Oh, and I managed to not wet my pants. It was a near miss.