I have hives. And they are a real bitch. I haven't had them like this in 25 years. I had them so bad when I was little that I couldn't wear clothes or go outside because it was summer and the heat made them worse. I had welts that were ten inches long and six inches wide, like large swaths that covered my enter body from head to toe. In the years since, I've occasionally had one or two hives pop up here and there, usually in the spring when my allergies were real bad, but they weren't severe. Once, when I was about 16, I woke up with a huge one on my upper lip, making my lip three or four times it's normal size and the skin was stretched and shiny. I called my friend, Mignon, having a minor freak out, and begged my Mom to let me stay home from school. She was mean and told me no. Then, I spent two days being asked by everyone how I had come to have a fat lip. It was huge. Angelina Jolie had nothing on me.
On MLK Day I had a horrible migraine that was so bad I couldn't sleep, so I stayed home from work. I managed to sleep from about 8am until noon. When I woke up my eyes looked like this:
Ick.
Over the course of the next two weeks I had ten to fifteen dime to quarter sized hives pop up every day in different places all over my body. They would vary in location and severity each day and were more of a nuisance than anything.
They itched to no end and I couldn't find an anti-itch cream that worked. I started to get them in between my fingers and toes, which made it hard to wear socks, shoes, or jewelry. I also had them on my palms and behind my ears.
Then on Tuesday there was an explosion of hives that took over my body. That morning I only had a couple on my arms and legs, but none on my stomach. By that afternoon, I looked like this:
I was laying down, hence the skinny look of my mid-section.
Over the course of the evening and night, it got worse.
I wasn't laying down; notice how I look a little more paunchy?
I got in to see the doctor on Wednesday afternoon and he gave me two medications to try. I cannot take Benadryl or Zyrtec, the two most commonly prescribed medications for hives, because I have adverse reactions to them. I'm essentially a drunk when I take them, so I always steer clear of them. I won't even use the Benadryl cream because I'm afraid of having a bad reaction. One of the medications he prescribed is primarily used to treat depression and anxiety, but has a secondary use for treating skin conditions.
And that's where things took a turn for the bizarre.
I woke up on Thursday morning in what I can only describe as something similar to a mad tweaker episode. I was highly agitated, mad, frustrated, short tempered, anxious, and my brain was fuzzy. I wanted to throw things and rip stuff off the wall. I wanted to get in my car and ram it into a tree repeatedly, just to tear something up. I felt like I was losing my mind and I sent D a text that the medicine had jacked me up. I was at least lucid enough to realize that I was not myself and that the things going through my mind were on the edge of just being downright crazy. I called the pharmacist and I was almost in tears and he confirmed that these were side effects of the medicine, however he'd never heard anyone describe it quite the way I did. I spent the next few hours talking myself down, reminding myself that this pill would wear off soon, and I just needed to keep it together a little bit longer. I don't know how people with mental ailments survive daily life. It was a day in hell like no other. I think I would rather endure physical pain than to experience the mental instability I had that day. I read up on the medicine today and, sure enough, all of my symptoms were listed as adverse side effects.
Ugh.
The doctor changed my medicine to something milder and, while I did still have some reactions to it, it was nothing like Thursday. I still have the hives, though not as severe. But, I still itch like a flea-ridden, mangey dog!
